“The imitator dooms himself to hopeless mediocrity.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Doesn’t he though? I always tell my business writing skills and presentation skills students that they won’t go wrong if they assume their readers/listeners are intelligent adults paying attention because they want to add to their knowledge. Communicate under that premise, and you will gain respect.

Serial copycat abusers of our mother tongue are anathema to that audience. As I noted a few months ago, mindlessly inserting “going forward” and “due diligence” and “most unique” risks irritating your readers and listeners, which changes the context in which they evaluate your thinking. Remember: That’s you on that email or memo, and if you’re dealing with a new contact, remember this as well: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. That is the essence of effective business communications — reaching and impressing a busy audience.

So, to the third installment of the Language Hall of Shame:

o Low-hanging fruit – When this one pops up I’m tempted to make eye contact with someone else in the room and share a knowing grin. But let’s try to be serious. Here’s the day-to-day “business world” interpretation of low-hanging fruit: When faced with a challenge, you do the easy stuff first. So how about instead: “Let’s confront this problem one step at a time…”? I recall attending a planning meeting where “low-hanging fruit” entered the discussion early and was repeated eight times by four or five other adults. Apparently, all it takes is one brief utterance to turn otherwise bright people into language lemmings.

o Defining moment – I take that to mean the one crucial stage or decision that lets us know whether we’re facing success or failure. If so, then by its very definition, the phrase must be used sparingly. Yet it sounds so precise that we overuse it because we feel authoritative and insightful. But how many “defining moments” can there be? Pile up too many of them, and they lose their impact while you look shallow and unimaginative.

o Rgds and tks – Whoa, you must be one extremely busy and important executive if you can’t find the time to write out “regards” and “thanks.” And lest I forget that, tks for reminding me of your stature every time you send an email. Maybe, as the poet William Wordsworth said, the child really is “father of the Man,” and we should start aping the shorthand that our brilliant offspring use when they “text” each other.

While I’m at it, a word about the etiquette of writing emails: Why are we no longer starting them with a proper salutation, such as “Hi, Bob” or or “Good Morning?” When you pick up a phone for a business call or run into someone at work, don’t you usually start with a “Hi, Bob” or a “How are you?” What is there about email that gives us permission to be abrupt, even rude?